OMG I have a JUKE samsung phone (my first actual cool phone), it's so pretty the same color as my new Nintendo DS. RED!!! Skyi sent me this really sweet email and My friend gave me a DS after he made one of my favorite foods, Chili Dogs he also gave me a cinnamon bun and made me blow out two household candles ^___^ YAY
I want to go snowboarding and get my piercing tomorrow!!!
Man I'm so tired of this, my parents are seriously considering kicking me out after high school. There constantly asking me for money when i don't even have a job. They Know i don't have a job and they don't want me to have one. Yet they want money from me. Not only that but Skyi keeps pestering me don't have time for this crap i really don't. I've already frustrated. Maybe i really do have to start ignoring everyone cus this is getting out of hand. I'm trying to get my self together i don't need this crap.
*sigh* Christmas isn't happening at my house i wonder if Kristen will go to the movies with me, it will be refreshing to go with some one new
My birthday is soon Hooray, I want to go snowboarding but i really don't think i will be able too. Also I'm thinking about getting an industrial piercing but i fear my ears aren't shaped the right way...
Also a uv tatto would be extreamly cool for my birthday *sneaks away from mom* unrealistic...but cool and when i'm out of high school a corset peircing and a Labret might be pretty X.x I hate needles *shivers* must have courage....
I'm tired i wake up tired, nothing is going my way...but who's life does. Everyone seems to have turned on me...i guess i deserved it, or maybe I'm just moving on..painfully.
suicide seems like a really nice option right now
But i want to finish this project first i really do... I don't see a future for me...
I'm so damn tired
I want to dance
Continued to maek progress by running on this road I can't find the towns that should be marked on the map When I turned around, the scenery I saw disappeared In this world, I'm the last person at the end
Electro World The ground shook and cracked, the sun in the sky descended into my hand
I noticed what was real This world's structure is the letter left behind for you
aa aa...oh yeh electro world
Like a cat walking down a street, a street flying through the sky Even your reality has no existance
aa aa...oh yeh electro world
Everything I can see, and everything I can touch Has no reality, but I am definately here
Who pushed this world's switch? It will disappear very soon
For some reason when i get in bed it's freezing,and then in the morning when i get out of bed,...I'm you guessed it...freezing. Ah gezz Winter is here i guess, time to start sleeping with my shoes one. I guess i just get cold easily.
I missed first hour today, My father couldn't find his keys.
I think I'll start over with the new year...that's what new years are for right? But I'll still try to work hard. Because i don't care what happened to my parents or my brother or even my friends, because at an instant they can be gone, and I'll still be here, and if i worry about them, how am i going to take care of my self.
I read a quote today
"Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it, Plan more than you can do, then do it."
I wonder if i will have a dream today.
People annoy me, so i guess I'll just have to stop talking to them.
Any one that reads this or knows me. When i do something, i may feel bad about it, but I'll never regret it. I look back at the many mistakes in my life, and sadly realize i wouldn't have it any other way, those mistakes and triumphs are what make me who i am today, and I'm still a work in progress, if i don't like something about me, I'll change it, and if i like my self better before, I'll change back, but I'll never regret my life. I hate it. But it's mine none the less.
yin and yang, why the hell is my life like this I hate my self and hate my parents for bringing me into the world
it hurts to much I wish some one would just hit me with their car
a coma would be nice
i just saw that i have a ACT of 21 my and my dad are arguing over who should pick up my dogs crap, i don't think my dad's ever done it even once
i'm crying
I had a strange dream about taiwan and sick people
I hate my life i better be a frikin millionaire after my life episodes
Translation 11. Let It Rain translation by: Yoonie (also credit: aheeyah.com)
Wherever you go, whoever you meet, you can deny it, but I know Wherever you go, whoever you meet, you can deny it, but I know
Turn on the TV and then turn it off, walk and then stop Stand up and then lie down, somehow it’s being forced Stare at the clock, close my eyes then squeeze hard, open up and glare at myself Converse with the bricks that won’t respond, hold a cigarette between my black lips Lip sync to the sad songs on the radio, behind a mirror no one sees
I comfort myself, and difficulty form a smile In the dark night when sharp wind blows, gloomy clouds break me apart As I look at the bright moon I go insane, it’s almost bearable The fingerprints on my thumb start to fade I’ve been able to through a night without your call, but then your name flashes on my phone Your voice is heard, as my hand shakes Smiling, I say I’ve been at the house all day And I’m running to you, I love you, but I know
Let in rain (Let it rain) Along with raindrops, my tears fall and wash away your faults Let in rain (Let it rain...) I’ll approach you with a smile, and wash your hypocrisy away
As the rain falls, I’ll bury the pain others aren’t aware of As the rain falls, I’ll bury quietly bury your lies
Even though I know, I can’t say a word Your feelings have changed, and they won’t come back today After I meet you, I dream of letting you go with a course voice My headaches bring tears that call the rain I reach out my arms to wash your mistakes away I try to hide my feelings with a smile, but it just deepens the wound The phone’s ringing causes my heart to beat faster A thousand times a day I kneel, or lower my head Where did we go wrong? How did it lead to this? Without a soul, I walk two paths I’ll keep my mouth shut, holding this pained face Because I can’t live without you, this one sided love is most important to me
Let in rain (Let it rain) Along with raindrops, my tears fall and wash away your faults Let in rain (Let it rain...) I’ll approach you with a smile, and wash your hypocrisy away
As the rain falls, I’ll bury the pain others aren’t aware of As the rain falls, I’ll bury quietly bury your lies
Wherever you go, whoever you meet, you can deny it, but I know
As the rain falls, I’ll bury the pain others aren’t aware of As the rain falls, I’ll bury quietly bury your lies As the rain falls, I’ll bury quietly bury your lies
Well I'm not going to school today because i don't have my ID, and I've heard from other students that you get suspended for 4DAYS if you don't have your ID, personally i don't know if it's true or not. However i think it's ridiculous so I'm just not going to school today, I miss one day instead of 4, plus it's a even day and even days are really easy so i guess I'm okay.
I'll study today and try to get most of my work done.
Anyway on another note, I've been thinking about making clothes, sadly I'm not made of money
I had a really strange dream to... The DSA was closing and basically Mr, Penny was letting me have any computer i want SO i walked in his office and it turns out he's a real anime Otaku he had cute little key chain figurine's and stuff and screen tones and stuff like that, so i asked his if i could have the Sora key chain for my friend Skyi and he was like, yea, so here i am taking all this stuff, then my friend Kyle picks me up, And we go to a weird carnival restaurant, when i realize i for got my computer, so i asked them to take me back....
then i woke up..
weird huh?
well thats all for today I'm going to start studying and listening to Epik High now
I have no idea what wrong with me, i can think up great stories or ideas but i can't draw or write them out. I think something is seriously wrong with me, I'm becoming more paranoid than usual (usual is during my monthly). People say I'm depressed but i don't really think so, (to me depression was the three times i tried to kill my self don't worry this happened in my 9th grade year), or when i think about killing my self.
I've been sick for over a month now, Randomly my voice will sound funny me left arm hurts, randomly i'll get weird pains in my stomach. Reading out loud has become strange to me and i sometimes have dyslexia while speaking (i'll switch stuff around, ex 'it's late getting') I'm stressed out can't get my face out of the computer and have trouble sleeping. \
I have almost no friends at school, and the friends i do have never have the time or something comes up. I practically have no one to talk i have real friends and i hardly ever see them. Man oh man what's wrong with me. It's my fucking senior year and I'm going to mess it up because i can't get my self together
I'm going to bet early, like 7:00 early gonna eat breakfast take my vitamins and go to the bathroom.
ACT TESTING IS UPON ME, I'm trying to find some tricks to help me with math (since that is my worse subject) So wish me luck keep me in your prays or cast a spell to make me smarter, anything, Thank you
After ACT I'm gonna rake my grandma's leaves, and hopefully eat some of my Auntie's fine cooking!
This is my year to get my self together, i can't make any mistakes now. I would like to graduate yea'know But for some reason I'me extreamly lazy, And i know i can't affored to be lazy, My birthday is comming up soon and i want to go snowboarding in upper michigain somewhere. I don't even have my drivers permeit yet. I don't have a job (not a real one anyway), and i havent even applied to colleges yet.(mostly because i don't even know what major i want to go in. Gotta get in line before it's too late.
Ah my classmate scared the living shit out of me today, she sprayed some purple crap in her hair and painted her lips black, and she had on a bondage choker, And the bad part was people actually thought it was me! That pasty faced girl dosent even compare to me!! RAWR!!, Eh.. anyway, I'm trying to get my ass in gear, man i have a lot to do,
1. Draw 2. listen in class 3. DO MY HOMEWORK 4. Decide wether or not to attend events like homecoming and such
I've also discovered that I'm a very mean and harsh person. Even I'm surprised at the stuff i say, I'm gonna try to be nicer...
Ah and the school year starts back up again. Its been mostly review , But i can already tell that this school year is gonna be somewhat difficult. Being a senior is great, but no one knows that I'm a senior.gah...oh well it doesn't really matter as long as i graduate.
I'm finding out that most of the people around me are either fan-girls, posers or both, it's really getting annoying so i've been distancing my self from them. But you know how boomerangs are...
Also I've been sick for the past 2 weeks I mean com on now, i sound like I'm dying with all the coughing, my right ear is a little irritate my throat hurts and my head hurts, and i have the power of unlimited boggers!!!! God I hate being sick, I can't think straight and i almost fell over from not walking straight either. Eh, I'm done i'll try to update everyday even if it's just nonsense yea....
Well starting this week i have a job working for my older brother, at his camp, Its okay but my phone settings are always changing for no reason. So i end up getting in trouble and not getting any food (even though i should eat before i leave or at least bring my money with me), except what what the kids give me (there so nice when there not being bad ) oh well, i'll be okay, i'm suppose to be on a diet anyway. Other than that it's all gravy (hahi'm spending too much time with my older brother) Life is life and i drew a couple of pictures so its all good, I plan on hanging out with my friends soon.
Man I can't believe i created this account and never used it! Isn't it sad? Well i had meant to post on Friday...but there was a storm and my neighborhood had a black out. Then that weekend I was busy at the Art Fair, filling in for a friend that decided that she wasn't going to come. I made quick and random sketches and sold them for $5.00 It was fun i made around 20 bucks. I'm definitely going to enter my self next year.
Anyway now i have to cram for finals, if i do really well on my math and chemistry i can bring my grade up from a D to a C. The thing is I'm the worst at are both of those subjects! They also let go of my major at school (Visual Communications) so now i have to go to Visual Arts. It's not that I'm mad it's just the principal at my school doesn't think that this major is an 'art' so she doesn't want it in her school. And that pisses me off. If they are not sweating or having lights shown on them it isn't art, that'sbasically what shes saying. Not that my grades are even high enough to say in the school any way.
Well that's all for today mabyI'll update tomorrow, heck maby i'll update my DeviantART account...havent been on there for at least a year..
