So I've decided....

To join the NAVY.

....I went to a requiter and took a pre-test and such. Scored 44 on my pre-test. The requiter told me to just go and take the test but I feel I at least need to study up on my math.....I did not understand most of it lol... It was pretty basic too. I'm hoping that with my interest in foreign language I can get a chance to take the DLAB, If I score high enough (in the right areas) on my ASVAB...

YEP...I'm gonna be a seamen...sealady...WAVE?

PS the requiter totally got me a milkshake...

what do I do now?

Things were going okay for a while.....

and then last week was possibly the worst week of my life nothing went right. Plans with my friends fell through. all of them....I've been having ridiculously good dream, but a nagging feeling in the back of my brain came to be relised last Sunday.....My pea rents decided that i haven't been abiding by the rules and told me
I need to leave...




now what?

Navy?
move to Taiwan and get a job teaching English?


I spent a good half hour holding my dads gun.

My head is so fucked up right now.

I want to die
but i want to live
i'm scared

this has been the worst weekend of all time....FML and everything else, I try and I get called lazy for it . I tell the truth and get called a lie for it. I work so freaking hard.....and everything I've ever done the meaning and hope I get from it gets ripped from me as soon as I start to feel better...I hate myself...why can't I just be a good little robot.

Happy New YEAR!

Well it's a new year a fresh start and I have a couple of stories to tell
but first my new years resolutions

Start school
Get out more
work on my art more

Any way my Birthday passed so here's how it went

My mom and dad took me for breakfast. And lately my dad has been trying to get me a pair of boots but I know what I want, and my dad doesn't like them so he keeps taking me to stores and stuff and today he took me to the store again after I told him not too...the day before he tried to bribe me by saying that if i got a pair of boots we could eat sushi. Of course I said no because I'm not a fucking sell out. Don't ask me what I want and then tell me that 'oh I don't like those get this instead'. I was so pissed walking up and down the rows of shoes I didn't want. I did happen to see a pair that interested me but when I asked my mother to help me find them she scoffed off. At that point I was irate I was going to fucking hit my dad. I stormed off while i hear my mom and dad point at shoes say

"What about this one?"

2 stores later they finally take me home I ask my dad if he can take me to my grandmothers house in order to see if my Id was there. His response was that he had to go to work.......

BASTARD

Any way

Shinobi came over and we talked about what we could do and finally we decided that no matter what we were going to get sushi. He also throws the Idea of walking around the mall. I'm like sure why not I'm not staying indoors on my birthday

I had my heart set on good sushi so i called some people to see if we could get a ride

NO ONE

Finally I go to my best friends house and see he they could take me, they asked and their parents said yes.

BUT

When it was finally time to go their older sister stole the car

I had a nose bleed when they told me, however luck was with me because

we just took the thief sisters car...


We arrived at the sushi place (after picking up my best friends boyfriend) and sat down discussing our choices.

There were a lot but we at and the girls boyfriend bought 5 BOTTLES OF SAKE XD
we was tips lol

and he was all like "I LOVE SAKE" Any way we went back to my house and got more drinks and played just dance on the wii.

I had a lot of fun
Shinobi also spent the night

The next day Shinobi and I discussed our options for New Years. It was either the club or A friend party but the catch was his friend didn't want any drama because Pirate was going to be there.

I was like what?
I don't start shit with anyone even If they kinda have been a jerk.
So it was settled I was going

We got there and I was almost kinda regretting It
Me and Shinobi were the only single people there

I even walked in on Pirate 2 dong drunken hard core making outness



But I just kinda walked away and immediately reacquainted myself with everyone since I hadn't seen them in such a long time. Played some rock band some other silly games

Made a drink that tasted like day-quill

I had fun to say the least. I was even to get a moment to talk to Pirate when his girl walked off for moment, altho he's still the same...not much of a talker...but I told him to start answering his messages

In a nut shell my year ended the same way it started very bitter-sweet but once it was 12:00.

My new year started off pretty well.


Hell it's better than being on Hollywood bvlrd on roof of a building stoned out of my freaking mind



:D Yep a hell of a lot better

I have a feeling this year will be good.

hey i might even find a guy that loves me for who i am and vise-versa

DAMN it damn it damn it

I'm upset because what I feared would happen did.

I went to the college I'm trying to get into and found out that the letter i had notarized was not the official document that they wanted. Then i tried to change my SS because i screwed it up while applying online. And found out I need more documents

Of course the documents they want I don't have. They got lost somewhere in the shuffle of me moving from place to place.

And of course the cycle of crap begins Not going into it because I'm upset.

Some body just shoot me please

If i manage to get into school I fucking promise to not screw up this time. Just trying to get past this point in enoth for me to work my ass off now

But first things first i'm going to:

get another job
apply for section 8
Get an apartment
And when I can finally get into school
Work my ass off in the arts department


The curse of my birthday is in full swing
happy fucking birthday to me

Dreams and at the moment

First im gonna type up with dream before i forget it.

I had a dream I had long hair I just woke up and it was long like down to my shoulders I was at my mom's house i i showed her how long my hair was and she was surprised for a moment before she started yelling at me about where my head wrap was..... ugh talk about joy kill even in my dreams.


Anyway I've been at my mom's house for the past month because i have no money to get to my intern job and my dad takes me. Right now thou I'm spending quality time with my nephews and my sister in laws new discovery she pregnant with a baby girl 5 months......lol I saw the ultra sounds cute. I was babysiting lol


Hmmmm since my brother is only my half brother would that make her my half sister in law?

4Loko lost during the summer ......found~ALIVE

That's right I open the fridge today and to my surprise it's my 4 loco I got during camp and was going to drink one weekend....It had disappeared from my room and now it's in the fridge...my brother said that our mother had found it in the basement...even weirder...I feel like my brother is hiding something...but it's still here so can't wait to drink it when ever I find the time to drink it.....

Anyway...Thanksgiving was a bit weird as usual...I felt out of place and kinda out of touch...Like I didn't belong there eh.... it's always like that.

Uh what Else has happened....may or may not have work today...

OH yea I saw my childhood friend a couple of days ago and she has a boyfriend lol they are so cute together...we hit it off just like the good old days.

Holiday times always make me lonely... I can't wait till I'm stable enough in life to try and have a steady relationship. Maybe this time things will work out for me....they seem to be working out so far.

I seem to be having good luck. I hope it last for a long time.


Um not sure If random (not that I'm calling you guys random it's just that way to me) people read this my stats page say I have a few people from all over that read my blog every so often.

Just wanted to say thanks for reading
p.s.
you guys should post comments lol

I like meeting new people and I'm sure I could clarify some stuff if people are confused.

I won the game today

I feel like I won today. I am worth more than my weight in salt.

lets back track a bit. The lansing trip was cancled...

The play was also cancled but I didn't know and ended up being dropped off there anyway. Walked back to Youthville. My mentor was seriously worried about me....I need to get a phone.

ANYWAY Yesterday I asked if i could help my menor out with the camera stuff at the church since he's been like super sick. He gladly accepted my help and Today I was acually doing stuff.

Technical live editing

and my favorite

CAMERAWORK

I love it I love it I love it

I was the only one with any good shots for the most part the other camera guys had some good shots too just took them a min to get in the groove I guess. BUT

I LOVED IT

Im so glad I acually got to prove my self in the field.

And thats not the end of the day My mentor was also so impressed that he's gonna pay me for the day! And I can help out any time!! So now I have a second job. And he took me back to meet his family. And we went to Henry Ford Musem. His son Ian is so cute He told his day he was glad that he found a replacement in the same color XD

And I pretended to be his wife in a old time dinner.

My mentor also told me to come baby site whenever lol

I passed out and just woke up too......Today was awsome