Got peed on by a squirrel

Totally Japaneses.

Any way I lied I Almost got pissed on by a squirrel...almost but that's just as bad.

Told my dad about the smoking trees and this was his response

"But isn't smoking bad for you?"

to which I replied

"But if trees inhale carbon dioxide and spit out oxygen then it's all good let them smoke as much as they want"

.......I guess it sounded funnier when I said it....

Almost done with the roof!!! And my bridge card is here!!! Let the candy roll!!!

Been thinking about the Gorillaz concert and have been thinking of a way to have my dad pay me in tickets to see them we will see He's gonna buy me a mp3 player for buying groceries so why not. or I can get my brother to do it......or my aunt...I think I have a plan yay!! I might be able to go the the Gorillaz concert and pay for Youmacon after all!!

Also I'm thinking about starting a comic for real I'm in a writing mood FUCKING FAIRY HERO's sounds like a good place to start just get a overall plot line going and it should be good...

And where is all the C-pop in the world I've only heard ballads so far!!!

In a writing mood but probably need to go to sleep...I feel ........alone like I'm being left behind and my life is ending

We saw...

Had a premonition today while working with my dad on the roof singing deliver us from prince of Egypt.....the work is getting frustrating now lack of sleep ((my fault i know)) and the bugs ughgh.

Also my bridge card hasn't arrived yet this sucks they said 5 days damn it

Anyway...I'm really tired only had like 3 hours of sleep my dad also fell off the ladder....eh oh yea I saw trees smoking it was sunrise getting warm and I guess the dew was evaporating...it was awesome all the trees were doing it.

called Sir JitterBug and he didn't answer again....
Need to call the collage and fix that stuff
Change address
talk to financial advisor so I can make my homeless claim official


so tired autgentics and sleep

Music XD

September 28, 2010











Been thinking about my future and how many people that I've talked to have been telling me that I'm 'doing to much' but I have to disagree I mean. My life goal is to never be bored always be doing something no mater how great or small. And I've looked it up even though I'm not sure if I want to get a masters in all 3 fields I'm interested in it still burns down to this.

• Master/Bachelor in Fine arts


• Masters/ Bachelor of Fine Arts in Japanese, Korean/Chinese studies


• Master in Psychology

It's a lot true not going to argue with that but I have such a huge passion about it. I'm sure I can do it.

(also my pipe dream of becoming a singer XD)

Talked to a couple of people I haven't seen in a long time online. Is it just me or is online interaction too convenient. I'd rather have a face to face conversation but oh well. Sometimes your just stuck.

My mentor Sir Jitter bug emailed me to call him. I did and left both my parents house and cell number he hasn't called back....wonder what that was about.

Also I totally forgot about the Gorrillaz Concert at the fox theater!!!!!!!!! UGHGHGHGHWSDFK a ertomjgbv irm

I have to find a way to go.

Also Youmacon and Ren fest

Why am I so broke

Anyway I've been updating my self on music

DBSK has broken up!!!! Why is it always the ones I love!!!

and the drama with 2pm?! shame on netizens

Despite the drama I love me some Korean Music doesn't help on my Chinese studies tho..must find good C-pop

The music videos is so funny Ring ding dong~!!! I'd upload like 14 videos if i could but eh

Court ,Shingles, Closure and Art.

September/ 27/2010

Well today was anxiety filled to say the least. First I'm talking to one of my high school friends bout life and school and what not people and how they act. I got off the phone around 4:30 am I didn't sleep. So I'm whisked off to the Police station and I sit there till about 7:00 am. Then they finally take me to the back..but it's pretty much the same as before they tried to let me go with out finger printing me and such. But I had a warrant (( 3rd degree Larceny by the way $40 worth of stuff a pen a html book and some origami stuff apparently) to get rid off so I manage to explain to them that I was going to get arraigned I was tired and they were being super nice to me and it was annoying. I pretty much just sat in the back I didn't even sit in a jail cell this time. It was all "aw your just a baby this and a kid that and you have nothing to worry about" Heh if that was true would I be in this situation right now? I ended up sleeping in a office for 2 hours almost crying because I was cranky from lack of sleep and the chair wasn't really comfortable before they drove me downtown to court. I got to sit in the front and one of the police officers gave me gum. I felt like a child all over again... that made me upset too but I did my autogentics and was able to keep it under control. Man was it cold tho. Finally at the Court house I am searched and she actually searched me too. Then I surrender my cell phone and go into an actual cell it was SMALL Like maby bathroom sized and I was in a cell with some chick who stabbed her boyfriend EEK! Finally i meet my appointed lawyer who's name i don't remember. And I talked to the judge She basically asked me if this was really my first offense I said yea she gave me personal bail (YAY!) But the cops wouldn't let me leave till i called my dad ugh. So finally I left.

Got back to my Dad's house and helped him shingle the roof It was fine till it started raining. I snuck off and spray painted my hoodie I think I'm going to do Pirates heart with the hand coming out I already cut the stencils and stuff just got to get good spray paint. And again I thought about Pirate so finally I decided to call him. First I realised I was hoping he wouldn't pick up but before I could hang up he answered. Nervous laughter masking the pain I was trying not to release just yet. Happy banter remember? Well finally I tell him what I really wanted closure, he seemed surprised and agreed. Then he started talking about not killing hims and stuff. But I assumed he was trying to hide the pain he was feeling like I was, also i think he really thought I was mad. I wasn't I told him that I forgave him and that he was my first love and piece of my heart blah blah ((I'm really tired)) In the end I was crying and I think he was too I didn't mean to do it over the phone I was trying to find a way to actually meet him face to face but it just came out.....all for the best I guess because we manage to talk just like back where we first met as friends He told me how he was trying to achieve some of the things he lacked like not looking masculine(( never under stood that it's not like he's a super girly thing but some guys feel that way I guess)) enough and having self time because he gave himself emotionally to everyone and never had any left for himself. so he was looking for closure too from the people in his life but he was going to make sure that he hurt (some of) them. I explaining that it wasn't worth it and you'd be holding on to rage instead of getting closure. I told him to forgive and about the 2 kinds of forgiveness. she seemed stumped by my explanations and was debating it but i knew he felt it was the right thing to do. will he do it tho? I explained that at our age we where trying to put out lives together by ourselves and felt that we didn't have time to have some one to love and i mean true love not all that crap kids think it is now aways. I told my ex that I was an emotional person and i Needed come one who comforted me some times I need security in that area because with some one I trust and truly love I feeling I can do anything. I needed some one to love because I've been missing that part in my life I've never felt truly loved.

Any way I did it!! after I got off the phone with him I felt at peace. I can think about him and not feel my heart breaking now I need to do is see him face to face and give him a big hug and a good bye kiss ^_^

Last thing I painted a self portrait it's awesome and now I'm going to sleep i'm tired.

Dreams

• 9/26/10
• I was hanging out with some new friends of mine we where having fun at a club and bars and what not when I had to go to Leonard's apt to get something I noticed my 2 back teeth where brownish and the furthest one back was rotten. I looked at it and went to wiggle it and the tooth came out!!!! and there was a spider in the tooth!!! I looked at it again and threw it way. I went back downstairs and for some reason it was noon the weather was nice and my friends where still there. We walked around down town Detroit and had a really nice time (the thing about this dream is when i woke up i distinctly remember the rotten tooth part but the dream was much longer and the tooth part was very minimal it was like 2 seconds compared to everything Else that happened)
• 9/17/10
• I was suppose to meet Tammy (Rachael Segue)at the crepe place but as i was walking down I ran into two of my old (now stylish) charaters i created (black and white Hitori) They wanted 'words' with me but i had a stasis (that thing from Deadspace the game) gun. After fighting with them for a bit I was walking along a shrine and had a thought "This is sure a lot better than hanging with Tammy!" I mentally agreed and while laughing I made my way into the shrine; it was like an Asian super mini mall and the first thing I see is a room i've been in before where everyone was high and drinking playing video games. Missa was there high and lying down on some cots She saw me and we had happy banter then she needed to throw up so I tried dragging her to a bathroom but instead ended up in a fruit market section. She manage to find a place to puk and i waited for her looking around I bumped into a Asian lady (Chinese Japanese?) I quickly tried spewing out sorry but wasn't sure of her nationality so ended up spewing a mixture of all that I knew "sumishi" A hot Asian boy who worked there came next to me and said "she's Japanese." I sighed and said "it's hard unless I know in advance other wise I'm spouting 3 things at the same time." He smiled at me and then his supervisor waled up a white guy and said "Hey whats going on?" "Nothing" the Asian said. out of the blue I asked "Are you guys hiring?" the white guy looked at me wryly "That's a good question most likely." I smiled and the white boy threw a pizza pie dough at me and I caught it. "Throw that up there." He said pointing above where the decorations where there was a pizza dough like wedding cake layered. I threw it up there but another one fell off I manage to catch it and I get whisles of approval from the two boys. I kept thinking that if I did get it up there all of it would fall down on me. So I threw it in a way where it landed farther back.

the shot not taken

will not succeed 100% of the time

This art is brought to you by my ex (whom after this shall be call Pirate XD). I have some older journal entry's to type up since I decided that I shall keep an actual journal and transfer it to this online version.only to to reread by my future self and few select people I trust. The past couple of days have got me thinking about Pirate. I still love him he was my first and shall always have that piece of my heart. It's sad because going in I told my self that i shouldn't take it to seriously and I did anyway. But what can I say I listened to him he listened to me we could talk for hours! that's what our first date was too talking in the furniture section at target from 12:00 till close. I want to be friends with him still but the last time I saw him a couple of weeks ago at an anime club meeting. I had a panic attack and had to leave the room. My heart actually felt like it was breaking I don't know what to do with it anymore. After that I tried to ignore him and I ended up just thinking about him. I tried talking to him on the phone to keep our friendship but that had me longing for him after the call. However I have decided to find a way to have a moment with him face to face and not to have any interruption to see if I can get closure because if I can't I'll just think of him like a sick puppy every time I look at some cute Asian guy.

Today i helped my dad with some shingling for the roof I accually enjoyed it I hope he pays me. Also got my phone!!! Saw my nephews too lol. Missed what ever party was downtown oh well..Im at my mom's house I guess I'm turning my self in in the morning. at the moment I'm typing all my stuff up in the blog I should have brought my other notebooks so I could type up my dreams. What ever I'll keep all the new one's in the same future post untill I get all the written one's down and then I'll add a weekly Dream report with dates.

okay now that that is (kinda) out of my system here are my two previous journals since this is a blog I'll say that the format is going to be if you want to see the earlier stuff scroll down to the end of the post and look for Bold print so you can see the date within the submitted blog post. If it's at the top and has no date then it's the date of the blog posting

Also ( ) within the post

(( )) my thoughts at the time of typing this

September 25, 2010

Today I woke up at 11:00 I probably woke up at 9:00 but i decided to sleep some more. It turned out to be a good Idea I turned my application in and sat down with this drink called Dry soda the flavor was lemon grass it was pretty good. I was impressed not sweet but had a bit of a sweet aftertaste to it. Anyway I decided to study Chinese today. I remember more than I thought just have to memorise the Hangul and I'll be on my way.

Two hours in guess who came in the door Sir Jitterbug himself! At first I didn't recognises him but after he spoke I remembered ((I told him about my drink and commented that it would probably be good with alchoal)) He offered me to try mixing it with gin or vodka I declined and laughed it off...way too early. I decided to hang with him for a bit and he took me to a couple of gallery's including his own. Introducing me to people along the way. It was amazing the art just kinda wanted me to stare at it or touch it or both. ((It was a lot of abstract art which I always found to be a mystery to me artistically-wise)) I had fun. And I got a brownie with walnuts it was delish! I wish I had some milk or coffee at the time. I tagged along with Sir Jitterbug on his errands; dry cleaners, car wash, and AT&T.

I told him how i felt about high school and what kind of student I was and my plans to switch over to OCC. I hope he comes through for the bakery job. I would really appreciate that. Oh I also told him about Pirate ((After he stated that I needed to get a boyfriend lol)) so much for not thinking about him today. Sir Jitter bug told me to let him go...sigh....

8:00pm Waiting for people to leave so I can go to the contemoary party. Also my wallet broke :c

I finally arrive at 10 and i feel as if I'm late. Although it could just be an intermission.

Theres an asian guy here setting snares up Cute!! Yay I'm not late Electric Junk yard Gamelan is playing There song's are as unique as there musical intrsments there song 'life on mars' awesome I now love this band

it's 11:04 now and EJG just ended. One performer girl has this cute dress and theses awesome boots Victorian thigh high boots. This has been really cool so far. Also thanks to my cowardliness and observation skills the events program has informed me of the cute guys name Ian Ding ((Facebook him?))

I kinda wish Sir jitter bug was here to introduce me to people. When I am in a new social setting it takes getting to know a few people for me for be comfortable. Just talking to random people. I'm such a social wimp. I was writing in my journal so it looked like I was busy with something "What could she be writing?" people probably thought. I think something bit my neck ick ((turned out to be a cut now I'm even more confused))

Ian's set was really cool although i didn't really understand his music. I was impressed at the fact that he looked so intense and yet nervous at some parts. Chance as an musical ambition for a piece is awesome. I admire people who play musical instruments. Ian was also in the last set for the night playing keyboards All I can say is it was dirty grungy sounding like a scary movie intenes and AWESOME.

September 24, 2010

Today I wok up an hour before my set time I got ready and set off by the time I got to ((bakery shall now be known as Local Coffee in the blog)) I was pretty busy so I got my usual and set up sat down and waited. While in line as i was counting my change A man asked me if I had enough ((I wonder if he would have gotten me a drink if i said no?)) I told him the truth tho so we started talking and i Blabbed my whole life story again and told him my goals. He was impressed and told me no problem that i would get the job.

He left and then another group saw me drawing and complimented on my skills asking me how much it cost to get a portrait. I said $15 to $20 depending on how well I thought I did. The coffee was making me feel sick or was it that i shouldn't drink coffee on my period? Anyway I blabbed my life story to them ((two times in one day lol)) and I finished this funky picture. Finally I was able to talk to The manager. I told her my name and that I was referred by Sir Jitterbug and that I wanted a job. Well the Manager dosn't usually hire people so she told me to drop off my resume. then a guy called working called me over and told me no matter what experience I had with food to put it on my resume I thanked him talked quickly with my high school acquaintence that worked there and left.

Went to the apt and called my dad and asked if he would get me so I could fix my resume. He said yes and asked me if I could help him shingle the roof on Sunday I said okay. I remembered to bring the yellowmemory card to my best friend and talked to Twin one about how to get around her parents to spend the night with her boyfriend. I talked about how I really just missed Pirate. How I still really loved him and my fear of him not loving me back. I'm not sure if I should give up or not Anyway my mom did my hair its so long now except for the side that I burned off trying to hot comb it.

Anyway, I think I'm going to go to Oakland Community college for the winter semester. They have intermediate Chinese and Japanese! I,m kinda worried about seeing my old gutter punk room mates there but that's just the low self-esteem talking it will be okay and I will make new friends I wonder if I get this job at Local Coffee will i be able to attend Youma-con? I'm also thinking about asking my brother if i can live with his family. My only problem is well my brother and the kids. The kids are not that big of a problem I love them and would like to spend more time with them, however i don't want to end up being the full time nanny. Hah I just had a day dream about taking all of my nephews out for a fun photo shoot with lots of props. I think I will plan it one day once I'm settled.

Chill is pushing my buttons but I'm done with his antics I forgive him. It's a bout time for my autogenics exercises must find my head scarf so I can wrap my hair it's not quite dry yet.

September 21, 2010

Wow it's been a while since I wrote in this book (my journal from high school) I wanted to tear everything out and start anew but that would be besides the point. I am currently crashing with my 9th grade friend ((whom in this blog shall be known as Chill)) and when I'm not on my period or depressed, things are good I don't have a job at the time being. I have a bridge card (lost at the moment getting a new one sent in the mail)and am considered homeless by the state.

I'm planning on going to WC3 in spring to Major in psychology. I'm sad I have to put my art on the back burner but I think my major will help me with my art in the long run. I am still 20 going to be 21 in 3 months I have 2 mentors my Aunt and my aunt's personal friend((whom shall be known as Dr.Aunt and Sir Jitter bug respectively XD)) anyway I thought I'd give an update before I started writing notes again