will not succeed 100% of the time
This art is brought to you by my ex (whom after this shall be call Pirate XD). I have some older journal entry's to type up since I decided that I shall keep an actual journal and transfer it to this online version.only to to reread by my future self and few select people I trust. The past couple of days have got me thinking about Pirate. I still love him he was my first and shall always have that piece of my heart. It's sad because going in I told my self that i shouldn't take it to seriously and I did anyway. But what can I say I listened to him he listened to me we could talk for hours! that's what our first date was too talking in the furniture section at target from 12:00 till close. I want to be friends with him still but the last time I saw him a couple of weeks ago at an anime club meeting. I had a panic attack and had to leave the room. My heart actually felt like it was breaking I don't know what to do with it anymore. After that I tried to ignore him and I ended up just thinking about him. I tried talking to him on the phone to keep our friendship but that had me longing for him after the call. However I have decided to find a way to have a moment with him face to face and not to have any interruption to see if I can get closure because if I can't I'll just think of him like a sick puppy every time I look at some cute Asian guy.
Today i helped my dad with some shingling for the roof I accually enjoyed it I hope he pays me. Also got my phone!!! Saw my nephews too lol. Missed what ever party was downtown oh well..Im at my mom's house I guess I'm turning my self in in the morning. at the moment I'm typing all my stuff up in the blog I should have brought my other notebooks so I could type up my dreams. What ever I'll keep all the new one's in the same future post untill I get all the written one's down and then I'll add a weekly Dream report with dates.
okay now that that is (kinda) out of my system here are my two previous journals since this is a blog I'll say that the format is going to be if you want to see the earlier stuff scroll down to the end of the post and look for Bold print so you can see the date within the submitted blog post. If it's at the top and has no date then it's the date of the blog posting
Also ( ) within the post
(( )) my thoughts at the time of typing this
September 25, 2010
Today I woke up at 11:00 I probably woke up at 9:00 but i decided to sleep some more. It turned out to be a good Idea I turned my application in and sat down with this drink called Dry soda the flavor was lemon grass it was pretty good. I was impressed not sweet but had a bit of a sweet aftertaste to it. Anyway I decided to study Chinese today. I remember more than I thought just have to memorise the Hangul and I'll be on my way.
Two hours in guess who came in the door Sir Jitterbug himself! At first I didn't recognises him but after he spoke I remembered ((I told him about my drink and commented that it would probably be good with alchoal)) He offered me to try mixing it with gin or vodka I declined and laughed it off...way too early. I decided to hang with him for a bit and he took me to a couple of gallery's including his own. Introducing me to people along the way. It was amazing the art just kinda wanted me to stare at it or touch it or both. ((It was a lot of abstract art which I always found to be a mystery to me artistically-wise)) I had fun. And I got a brownie with walnuts it was delish! I wish I had some milk or coffee at the time. I tagged along with Sir Jitterbug on his errands; dry cleaners, car wash, and AT&T.
I told him how i felt about high school and what kind of student I was and my plans to switch over to OCC. I hope he comes through for the bakery job. I would really appreciate that. Oh I also told him about Pirate ((After he stated that I needed to get a boyfriend lol)) so much for not thinking about him today. Sir Jitter bug told me to let him go...sigh....
8:00pm Waiting for people to leave so I can go to the contemoary party. Also my wallet broke :c
I finally arrive at 10 and i feel as if I'm late. Although it could just be an intermission.
Theres an asian guy here setting snares up Cute!! Yay I'm not late Electric Junk yard Gamelan is playing There song's are as unique as there musical intrsments there song 'life on mars' awesome I now love this band
it's 11:04 now and EJG just ended. One performer girl has this cute dress and theses awesome boots Victorian thigh high boots. This has been really cool so far. Also thanks to my cowardliness and observation skills the events program has informed me of the cute guys name Ian Ding ((Facebook him?))
I kinda wish Sir jitter bug was here to introduce me to people. When I am in a new social setting it takes getting to know a few people for me for be comfortable. Just talking to random people. I'm such a social wimp. I was writing in my journal so it looked like I was busy with something "What could she be writing?" people probably thought. I think something bit my neck ick ((turned out to be a cut now I'm even more confused))
Ian's set was really cool although i didn't really understand his music. I was impressed at the fact that he looked so intense and yet nervous at some parts. Chance as an musical ambition for a piece is awesome. I admire people who play musical instruments. Ian was also in the last set for the night playing keyboards All I can say is it was dirty grungy sounding like a scary movie intenes and AWESOME.
September 24, 2010
Today I wok up an hour before my set time I got ready and set off by the time I got to ((bakery shall now be known as Local Coffee in the blog)) I was pretty busy so I got my usual and set up sat down and waited. While in line as i was counting my change A man asked me if I had enough ((I wonder if he would have gotten me a drink if i said no?)) I told him the truth tho so we started talking and i Blabbed my whole life story again and told him my goals. He was impressed and told me no problem that i would get the job.
He left and then another group saw me drawing and complimented on my skills asking me how much it cost to get a portrait. I said $15 to $20 depending on how well I thought I did. The coffee was making me feel sick or was it that i shouldn't drink coffee on my period? Anyway I blabbed my life story to them ((two times in one day lol)) and I finished this funky picture. Finally I was able to talk to The manager. I told her my name and that I was referred by Sir Jitterbug and that I wanted a job. Well the Manager dosn't usually hire people so she told me to drop off my resume. then a guy called working called me over and told me no matter what experience I had with food to put it on my resume I thanked him talked quickly with my high school acquaintence that worked there and left.
Went to the apt and called my dad and asked if he would get me so I could fix my resume. He said yes and asked me if I could help him shingle the roof on Sunday I said okay. I remembered to bring the yellowmemory card to my best friend and talked to Twin one about how to get around her parents to spend the night with her boyfriend. I talked about how I really just missed Pirate. How I still really loved him and my fear of him not loving me back. I'm not sure if I should give up or not Anyway my mom did my hair its so long now except for the side that I burned off trying to hot comb it.
Anyway, I think I'm going to go to Oakland Community college for the winter semester. They have intermediate Chinese and Japanese! I,m kinda worried about seeing my old gutter punk room mates there but that's just the low self-esteem talking it will be okay and I will make new friends I wonder if I get this job at Local Coffee will i be able to attend Youma-con? I'm also thinking about asking my brother if i can live with his family. My only problem is well my brother and the kids. The kids are not that big of a problem I love them and would like to spend more time with them, however i don't want to end up being the full time nanny. Hah I just had a day dream about taking all of my nephews out for a fun photo shoot with lots of props. I think I will plan it one day once I'm settled.
Chill is pushing my buttons but I'm done with his antics I forgive him. It's a bout time for my autogenics exercises must find my head scarf so I can wrap my hair it's not quite dry yet.
September 21, 2010
Wow it's been a while since I wrote in this book (my journal from high school) I wanted to tear everything out and start anew but that would be besides the point. I am currently crashing with my 9th grade friend ((whom in this blog shall be known as Chill)) and when I'm not on my period or depressed, things are good I don't have a job at the time being. I have a bridge card (lost at the moment getting a new one sent in the mail)and am considered homeless by the state.
I'm planning on going to WC3 in spring to Major in psychology. I'm sad I have to put my art on the back burner but I think my major will help me with my art in the long run. I am still 20 going to be 21 in 3 months I have 2 mentors my Aunt and my aunt's personal friend((whom shall be known as Dr.Aunt and Sir Jitter bug respectively XD)) anyway I thought I'd give an update before I started writing notes again
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