Wondering why

Sometimes i wonder if i'm being toonice or a bittoomean. When ever i meet some one i want to be my friend I always tell them my faults. the bad things that i've done and other not so good things to say. And i let them decide if they want to be my friend. well. Skyi, a fried i trusted and truly care about. Decided that i because i am not as madly in love with him as he was with me. Doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Well...okay i thought to my self and i go about my business. I didn't talk to him unless he spoke to me and when ever he spoke to me it was nothing but "Hi. Did you sleep well last night?" and that be about it. But this Asshole decides that now i don't respect him. I never listen to him on the phone.

Well if ANYONE has ever talked to me on the phone, they know that phone conversations annoy the living hell out of me, like hell i'm gonna really listen to what your saying, much less remember. I'd much rather talk to you face to face. But sadly Skyi is a pussy when it comes to face to face convosation. The last time he came over to my house we didn't even have a decent conversation.

So i try to get him to talk to me at school. but obviously (and i'm seriously not mad) he dosn't feel like talking me me, he'd rather go talk about halo.because it relives stress.

My real friends are genually surprised that i've been so nice to him and are wondering when i'll accept a loss cause and leave it alone. Or make him cry. what ever comes first they said.

The thing is i've Never stuck up for some one like i did him. I've always told him to get a hold of him self and to forget what other people think. but i think he only humored me. Now he tells me that i wasted 3 years of his life...
well as i recall i don't remember forcing you to talk to me, to call me back, to come over, to buy me things.

I may not know myself but i know what i stand for and what i believe in when it comes to friends. I trusted him, i stuck up for him but all he want to remember is a cd i broke, all the things he gave me and a guitar i offered him to barrow.

My heart says to cry, but it also says it's not worth it.

Skyi since you do know care about what i've tried to do for you. I'll leave you alone and give you back everything that i still have that was givin from you to me. Go sell it so you can get your money back. I'm tired and stressed out and i really don't have time for this. what i really needed was some one i could talk too. I'm scared for my future but know one know how much its really affecting me. I don't notice things around me anymore. Thoughts of living in eternal nothingness are extremely appealing right now. I'm tired of trying to adjust myself. You won't even read a book i gave you.

I WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME ONE THAT LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM
I NEED FRIENDS THAT CAN TOLERATE ME
I NEED SOME ONE TO CUDDLE WITH WHEN I'M SAD
LOVE SCARES ME do you want to know why? It's becasue every one that every told me I love you acted as if they where obsessed with me, all i've ever wanted was to fall in love with some one..and i'm not sorry that the person wan't you, or the boy a block away or they guy i met at a bar or at the park,or on the bus

...i need more nosie to drown out this emptiness i feel while i am among the living

I'm still making your cake Skyi, wether or not you eat it is up to you